Raphael's Girls
by Mandy
Summary: This epic poem is a battle between the authoress and Raph.
1. Default Chapter

Raphael's Girls!   
by Mandy 

Raph:  


They are always there when I do battle.   
And no, I'm not talking about a herd of rampaging cattle.   
I'm talking about my sais.   
The shininess so hurts my eyes.   
I like to watch the blood pour down my boys.   
As they make ninja's drop like toys. 

Mandy:  


Wait Wait wait...stop I say!   
Who says that your sais are boys if I may?   
Raph, for all you know they could be girls.   
They like pink bows and big white pearls.   
They wish so much to be pink.   
But I guess you never stop to think. 

Raph:  


Hey! Now I protest your little thought.   
They are not girls, only boys is what I got.   
My boys have fought hard.   
They can beat any of those elite ninja guards.   
They love the sight of blood!   
And they also love the mud. 

Mandy:  


What does this prove oh dear Raph?   
You have given me such a good laugh.   
You think that everything has to be so manly to have worth.   
I can see the anger as I tread on your turf.   
Somebody must stand up to your silly notions.   
I'm afraid I'll be the victim of your raging emotions. 

Raph:  


That's right, don't question me!   
If you knew what was good for you then you would flee!   
My sais are not of the female gender.   
They are not soft, cuddly, or tender.   
They are strong, tough, and manly sias.   
I'm not going to listen to your lies! 

Mandy:  


Raphie's sais are girls!   
They have pink ribbons and curls.   
I want to paint them pink.   
I don't care what you think.   
Yes! I do have a death wish!   
I will pester you and your girly sais so that I may perish! 

Raph:  


All right! That's it!   
My sais being girls is something I just cannot admit.   
I am angered by your stupid words.   
They are nothing but floating turds.   
You will die now, that I will guarantee!   
There is no escape now so forget even trying to flee! 

Mandy:  


The authoress gets beaten to a pulp by Raph.   
I have suffered his terrible wrath.   
May this be a lesson to you all.   
Never call his sais girls or you surely will be mauled.   
I bid you farewell for I shall pass out.   
But don't worry, I'm not out for the count. 

*mandy passes out* 

Raph:  


That's right!   
Nobody can beat me and my sais with all their might!   
Never make fun of my boys.   
And do anything else that annoys.   
For I will come and beat you up until you can't stand no more.   
You'll end up like Mandy, whom is passed out on the floor.   
  


  



	2. Chapter 2

Authoress's notes: Hello everybody, this chapter is for all the fanfiction.net readers, or at least the people who were kind enough to review such strangeness. Well, I got bored with no school and couldn't get any work done on my other fics so I bring you the battle that you have been all waiting for. I will fight Raph and I will beat him up. I will take his sais home as a prize, dress them in the cutest clothes, and have a tea party with them. It's not that I enjoy doing this sort of thing, it's just that Raph will be very pissed off and he will know the wrath of what's it's like to have a younger sister. So let the fighting begin.  
  
Mandy:  
  
I lay in my hospital bed and gaze out the window.  
I feel the rage of a black widow.  
The cherry blossums bloom with fury.  
I stare at my body cast as if telling my wounds to heal in a hurry.  
Magically I am healed and ready to kick butt.  
I will strangle that turtle like he's a chained mutt.  
  
Raph *stroking his sais*:  
  
Stupid Mandy, she insulted you two.  
Don't you worry, I have avenged you.  
She is laying all beaten up in her room with a view.  
When she looks at herself, all she can say is ewww.  
That is if she can ever move again from that bed.  
She learned her lesson when she was shred.  
  
Mandy:  
  
La la la la, I sing swinging around my ax.  
I got it with a coupon for free and did not pay a cent of tax.  
I will chop his head off like I will chop this tree.  
I missed and I will flee.  
For you see I hit the fire hydrant.  
I got a lot of people wet, when it got bent.  
  
Raph:  
  
I hear a knocking at my door.  
Could it be a whore?  
No, this can't be...  
How was she able to escape from me?  
She was able to get out that fast?  
I thought she was a thing of the past.  
  
Mandy:  
  
Hi Raphie, I said to his surpised face.  
I brought a friend who likes to wear lace.  
I showed him my beautiful new toy.  
It was obviously not a boy.  
I grinned at him with happy insanity to his horrified surprise.  
And that is when I spotted my prize.  
  
Raph:  
  
What the hell?  
I must be out of my shell.  
How can she be up and about?  
I broke too many bones to even count.  
And now she's threatening me.  
But I will not flee.  
  
Mandy:  
  
There they are, the sais sitting there.  
They are on the table.  
I have practiced with the ax so I think I am able.  
I swung the ax at him.  
I will rip him from limb to limb.  
And that's what I did, right there.  
I got his blood all over and did not care.  
  
Raph:  
  
What is up with this crazy girl?  
First she just magically emerges from the hospital like a pearl.  
Then she swings an ax at me.  
Then she starts making up stuff up, as she tee hee hees.  
Lies, all lies these be.  
She can never kill me.  
  
Mandy:  
  
From hence I took the girly sias from Raph.  
His mangled up body makes me laugh.  
Foolish turtle, don't mess with Mandy.  
I don't give people candy.  
I take my prize and have my tea.  
Partys are fun especially with me.  
  
Raph:  
  
Shutup woman, nobody believes your crap.  
Hey, readers, this is all a trap.  
Don't believe her ridiculous lies.  
This is what I hope you realize.  
I beat her up once again until she could move no more.  
I beat her harder than before.  
  
Mandy:  
  
Ha ha ha, Raphie, you sound so naughty there.  
It is the truth I just cannot not bare.  
I'm afraid he's right.  
I've got a body cast on which is really tight.  
I want to believe that I ripped him to shreds.  
And he's in the hospital begging for meds.  
  
Raph:  
  
I told, you , I told you all.  
I told you that she was the one who got mauled.  
Hey wait a minute, what happened to my boys?  
They have turned pink during all of the noise.  
When was it that you did this?  
I just can't see how I could miss.  
  
Mandy:  
  
That's right, in the end I have won.  
I beat you with my cun.  
Even though my ax could not do you in.  
Your sais are no longer men.  
I am the bomb, that I am.  
I cover my mouth because I broke a dam.  
  
Raph:  
  
I beat her up so hard that she will stay in there forever.  
That's what you get for thinking you're so clever.  
You will eat through a tube from now on.  
Your days in the hospital will be long.  
I better not see anymore chapters on this fic.  
Or you will get a good kick.  
  
Mandy:  
  
Well that's it's for now.  
I may continue like a stupid cow.  
If you want this poem to continue.  
Then why not leave a review.  
I have a lot of time on my hands now seeing that I can't leave this room.  
So tell me if I should meet my doom.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
